Charlotte Butler

Charlotte loved watching movies with her tablet and would sing along to all the soundtracks, such as Madagascar, Tangled, Up and Frozen, to name but a few. She a very head-strong character who loved arts and crafts, playing outside on her swing, high on morphine at times, even in cold weather with her ski suit on.

Charlotte was the second youngest of my four children, the lightest weighing in at 7lb 10oz and could be held in one hand, unlike her siblings, who were all 9lb+. When she was two and a half, she was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma.

Cancer treatment and its side effects became the norm for Charlotte at a young age. She even wanted to know when her younger sister Daisy was going to get her freddie.

Charlotte started playschool in September 2013 and loved every minute of it, especially interacting with other children apart from her siblings, as with her initial treatment she was very isolated due a compromised immune system. On a good day, she would spend hours outside in the garden playing.

We learned to live in the moment and took nothing for granted, be it 10 mins playing in the sun or discovering a new colour. If she wished for three different meals for lunch, she got it. If she wanted to eat chicken wings at 10pm, I made them for her.

In December 2013 we had new hope; the scan showed the disease had reduced to just a shadow. Unfortunately, this was short-lived, and in January it had switched back on. We tried other combinations of chemo, but from January to March Charlotte grew weaker, and her last scan showed it had progressed rapidly to her whole body.

On the 18th of April we bought her home for the last time. In my possession I had a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ Order for my beautiful 5-year-old daughter. Our only goal was to keep her pain-free.

Charlotte died 10 days later on 28th April 2014. Grief will never leave me, I know that. It will always be a big ball in my chest. Only life grows around it, and I will have to learn how to live with the triggers around me and how they remind me of her.

I share our story because it keeps Charlotte’s memory alive. These photos may give you a small insight into my daughter, who was much loved and is deeply missed. These are very fond memories of a time that no longer exists